So I have had quite the dramatic life since I have last posted. I hate drama. Anyhow. Here's my job situation:
Had 4, one didn't work out b/c of miscommunication: I have yet to pick up my paycheque (it was the one in Beaches). Another I worked at for awhile (Peridot) and it just wasn't my cup of tea. So I recently quit it, I also still need to pick up my $. The other two I am still working at. One is the first job I had got, The Gem Bar and Grill. I like this job, though I think I may be more of a morning person and it's in the evenings and at night. Also, I don't feel secure in the job. Other than that it's a good job. The other is at a vegetarian resto called Get Real. I like the resto, but there are problems: pay=shit, have to wash dishes by hand (which isn't THAT bad), I hear the boss can get crazy and I've seen glimpses of foreshadowing. So yeah, that's my current job situation.
Work has been crazy. I had been working too many jobs (another reason why I quit Peridot, I burnt myself out). Then I took a week off and went home. So here's where another piece of drama fits in.
My roomie, her friend and I had been planning on renting a car and driving home. Then my boyfriend, Abed, reveals that he has a friend leaving the day before we were planning to that is driving out that way. He says that his friend will likely leave a day later b/c we would help with gas and driving and keep him company, as well as give him places to stay on the way (I was going to Dryden, my roomie to Dauphin, him to BC). Abed's kind of wishy-washy and not really answering my questions and not giving me his friend's contact info. A seat sale to return from home comes up and we figure if we're getting a ride there we'll have to find some other way to get home. The deadline for the sale is coming up so I put pressure on Abed to make sure that his friend can drive us and leave the day before. I repeatedly express how important it is to be able to leave the day before. Abed assures me that he is so sure that this is possible that he says he will pay for my bus ticket home if it is not (which would cost hundreds), that he talked to his friend and he was excited to give us a ride, and that he is talking to him again that evening. I pass this info on to my roomie and we decide to book our tickets back since we think that we have a ride, after Abed meets with his friend.
So we think we're set. A few days later I go to Hamilton to meet his friend. By then I'm starting to have doubts about Abed b/c he's not being very considerate (ie. my only morning off, I still worked in the evening, he comes up with his friends and has me meet him at 8am after I worked until 3am and had another night shift; I come to Hamilton on my only afternoon off and he doesn't even tell me which bus stop to get off at and then doesn't meet me there but makes me wait for 15min for his friend's mum to pick me up...) they're just little things but still make me wonder if he does really love me like he says he does, b/c he sure doesn't seem to care about how worn out I was. Anyway. I meet his friend, who has been drinking. His friend informs me that he cannot leave the day that I have to leave. I convince him however. His friend also tells me that his car is standard, which the rest of us can't drive. He also thinks that Abed is coming, which is part of the reason why he agrees to leave later, b/c he thinks that he has an extra driver. Abed convinces me not to tell him that he's not coming and that everything will be alright.
I few days later Abed finally gives me this guy's number. I call him. He doesn't remember our convo b/c he was drunk. But he tells me that he can't leave the 9hours later that we needed (b/c one of the girls worked). It turned into 9hours later instead of a day later b/c I managed to shift change b/c he told me that he could leave after Negaar's work that way. To do so I ended up working a 17hour day after having two weeks without a day off and many of those days short-shifted (which means you don't have 8 hours or less b/w shifts). I tell him that it's possible that Negaar can get off work 3 hours early. He says that he'll consider this. I also tell him that I'm pretty sure Abed's not coming (which upset Abed for blowing his cover). I did so b/c it greatly affected our plans. I am also informed that Abed's friend didn't know how many ppl were coming b/c he forgot our convo and Abed neglected to tell him. I feel worried and give my roomie and her friend his number. We're supposed to leave in two days.
The Sunday I wake up to start my 17hour shift, worried about the trip. I finish about half and get a message from Abed's friend, wondering what's up since nobody contacted him. I message my roomie asking her why she didn't contact him and telling her to. I get busy with work (I'm the only waitress on). There's a lull and I check my phone, about a 12 messages, most from Kali (my roomie). She's upset b/c he won't leave the 7hours later and she says her and Negaar are either flying (by this time flight's have gone up to $350 one way) or renting a car, but it depends on what I'm doing. She sounds upset with me. It's not really my fault, but I was in the middle of it so I ignore her anger towards me and try to figure out what to do. Between lulls I contact Abed (whom I'm upset with for miscommunicating things and pretty much lying to me about talking to his friend about leaving the day earlier and about how many people were coming and his roll in it all), Abed's friend, my mum, Kali... Basically b/w work and customers I'm frantically trying to figure out how I'm going to get home the next day. Abed's friend informs me that he needs to leave earlie r b/c he has a friend that he wants to waterbomb (he's MOVING out west and will have however long he lives there to do this... but whatever). I try to convince him to leave later again and when he doesn't I decide to not go with him, not only b/c of his silly reasoning and b/c he would be leaving my roomie and friend behind, but b/c of my original commitment to them and b/c I know Kali would've been furious with me. I let Abed's friend know, but tell him that he can still stay at my place in Dryden if he wants.
I finish work upset about all of this but thinking it'll work out. I get home, go on facebook, and Abed's status says no longer in a relationship with me. So I worked a 17h shift, went through all of this, was on my period, and now this. I didn't know if he's trying to break up with me on facebook or what. But either way I'm upset. I didn't even know that he was upset with me and I find out after anyone else who read his status first and he does it on FACEBOOK!? WTF?! I try calling him but he doesn't answer. Instead I call one of my best friends from home, Dan, and he talks me through it (this has it's own story, but I'm not going to post it, at least not yet). Meanwhile the next morning I get a call from some friends whom I had made plans with that morning but kind of forgot through all of this. I haven't seen them in months and they live in Ottawa. I agree to hang out for a bit. While we're out Abed calls. He has talked to his friend and they've decided that I'm being vindictive. Why? b/c I decided to not take a ride with his friend. Apparently my roommate is rubbing off on my in a bad way?! Well... I've already expressed why I refused the ride, and to no means was it me being vindictive towards Abed and actually had nothing to do with him at all. He also says that I am passing the blame onto him. Which I maybe am a little, but I'm upset and he is largely responsible for the failure of the plans, whether he admits it or not. I express to him that I know that he had good intentions, but that he screwed up. He doesn't like this. He tells me that I obviously aren't who he thought I was, but that he wasn't breaking up with me, that the facebook thing was to express his anger (and I'M vindictive?!). I tell him I'm too upset and tired to talk right now. He says rudely, "FINE!" and hangs up.
I say goodbye to my friends b/c I am too upset to hang out. I try to call him again and he doesn't answer. I call a good friend how introduced us and she calms me down, makes me feel better about my decisions and how I handled it (Abed somehow had gotten ME to apologize on the phone...) I get home, pack my bag in 20min, rush out the door and me and Kali go to the car rental place (she had booked after the fiasco). Negaar comes. On such short notice the place won't let us take any of the cars left out of province. After two hours we get a car elsewhere for about twice as much. Abed calls and tells me we'll discuss things when I get home, but he's speaking to me as if nothing happened. I pass out and after a long drive home (21hours) I am home. Home is good. I spend most of my time with my parents, Dan and Beth, I also get to see Megan and a few others. Abed calls me once in there to ask me if I'll go to CarlyAnne (his friend)'s cottage. She wants me to come and his whole family will be there. He's still acting as if nothing happened. I'm a little cold to him on the phone b/c I really don't want to talk to him. I'm back in Toronto. My trip cost me a few hundred more than originally planned b/c of the switching of car rental and the plane cancellation. I messaged Abed b/c we need to talk. He hasn't messaged me back yet.
Basically I think we have to break up. I am upset b/c of the good times we had and b/c of the emotions I had for him and thought he had for me. I'm upset b/c he seems unemotional about all of this and I wonder if he ever loved me like he said he did. I'm a little torn. But he'd have to do some accepting and promising etc for us not to break up. I'm concerned that if we see each other, still have the feelings, and decide to stay together, that in a few months or even years when something else comes up he'll react even worse. If he reacted this way over me not taking a ride with his friend, what next? I can't handle it and won't take it. But I'm doing it in person. Just when will I see him next?
So yeah. I'm assuming nobody read this drama, but if you did I apologize for the length and for boring you.
mood:  disappointed |
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kelseyinbelgium
cheerful
lonely
nervous
contemplative
groggy